Interviews- A License to judge

Being judgemental is the one personality trait that is being frowned upon heavily across the world of today. We are expected to have the ability to not form opinions even inadvertently. That's definitely a good thing. Because the underlying logic is that, we don't know the person, we don't know what they went through and what got them embroiled in the situation which attracts the judgements of others.

However one paradoxical practice which the society has accepted with open arms is "Interviews". A panel of an elite clique of highly adept individuals that hover over you for a period of 10-30 minutes, judging how good you are for the job in question. Their job is to judge you in that limited time frame, to judge whether you are fit for the job, to judge whether you have got the prowess that the job demands.

Don't you think its unfair? Of course, I do believe in the concept of "Survival of the fittest" and that the best have to be culled from the rest of the world. But what about those who are actually deserving of the job and are probably a level higher than the set expectations and they don't make it because those 15 minutes don't do justice to them.

I mean, there are so many different ways an interview can be botched up. Or you think you nailed it, but the truth is that they were not impressed. Very rarerly does one go through a satiating interview experience, and that rarity is otherwise called Luck. I don't mean to attribute everything that the one that gets through an interview has achieved to luck but the stars should be in your favour for you to make it.

There are many reticent people, who have the genius brains inside them but are let down by their verbal inabilities or their proclivity to excessive trepidation in the presence of an intimidating panel. Yes, you have to learn to fight your handicaps to surpass the veil that lies between you and the job. There are people who try hard and attend mock interviews. But that one day, is the deciding factor

Let me list down some typical scenarios

1. You get asked questions you weren't prepared for
No one can know everything about anything. Levels of knowledge regarding the same thing vary from person to person. With these two implicit shortcomings, one can never master the technical rounds of an interview unless luck plays cupid between you and the job. You and your interviewer should ideally have the same level of knowledge for you to be able to answer anything that he may ask. You end up not getting the job.

2. You exude an air of diffidence
You answer all the questions right. You know you have given them what they wanted. But there's that one glitch. You were not confident. You seemed very unsure of whether you've made the right impression. And that kind of attitude doesn't sell in this office. You end up not getting the job

3. You exude an air of over-confidence
You answer all the questions right, some wrong. And when the interviewer tests you "Are you sure about that ?", you confidently stand by your answer. Unfortunately, that answer is wrong. This kind of attitude is not right for this office. This kind of a person will tenaciously hold on to his standpoint and not be a good team player. Nor will he accept his mistakes. You end up not getting the job.

4. You are overqualified for the job
Your profile is illustrious. You have achieved a lot. This Company cannot do justice to your prowess. You end up not getting the job. I mean, when you apply for a certain position at a Company, the interviewers are supposed to assume that you are aware that this job maybe a stepdown for you but that you are still willing to have a go at it. They should respect that

5. While we find your profile very impressive, we curently do not have openings to match your profile.
- I'm sure all of you have heard this, or read this on mail

6. You don't have enough experience
Now a fresher has to swim in troubled waters all the time. He needs that fillip, that first job so that he can make mistakes and learn. The Companies think- Okay why do I need to hire a little kid and pay him to make mistakes. Mismatch again. You end up not getting the job


7. We are currently facing a dearth of vacancies
Then why call us :\

8. We will call you back/The HR will get in touch with you
This leaves you hanging in the balance. Should I wait for the HR to call/mail me or should I go on with my interview spree?. Well, as most of you know , the ugly truth is that if you don't get a call back in two days, you're never getting one. Guess what, you again end up not getting the job

Of course, if someone performs badly, leave them out. The point is, when one applies for a job, they are most likely sincere about it and find the job profile befitting. The nervousness, the over-confidence, the floundering, the reticence botch many interviews but the inner talent goes unnoticed. People unable to overcome their nervous ticks soon, lose out in the rat race. Not everyone has grown up in the same ambience and has had the same privileges and hence not everyone can ace the verbal, technical and the other aspects of an interview. I know of so many people, who are the best at what they do, but haven't made it into their dream jobs because of the interview obstacle. Maybe if one proves that they are sound technically, and can communicate decently, a chance can be given because I'm sure they are going to get better. Outright rejection has led to a large scale of unemployment, or ever worse, a situation where people are stuck in jobs that they don't deserve.

Interviews do require application of judgement. It cannot be helped. But if you do see that spark in someone, hire them. They will improve. A chance, is all one asks for.

Groom Hunting and the associated pains

24, bordering 25. Single. Employed. WOMAN.
So obviously there's going to be all this pressure from family, first cousins, 23rd cousins, neighbours, passers by to get married .You have to relent sometime at which point you put up a profile on all the Matrimonial websites, Bharat matrimony, Shaadi.com, Tamil Matrimony, Brahmin Matrimony, Iyer Matrimony, Chennai Matrimony, KK Nagar Matrimony. You name it and I'll be there on those sites.

All this is  normally easy for a girl that is perfect for advertisement. But with me.....I have certain pre-conditions for my groom to be and also, I'm not perfect for advertisement in any sense. We've been on the lookout for my future husband since January 17, 2016, the day I became a Chartered Accountant.  So the groom hunting process , for me personally, is proving to be difficult by a few notches higher than for the others (at least others around me). Why? Because

1. Not in the mood
There's that adage , "if you really want something, the universe works on delivering it to you at your doorstep", something like that. The problem is I don't really really want it. I am not in the mood to get married at all, so probably the universe is busy helping the girls who really want to get married. Which is fair. To sum it up, universe isn't helping right now

2. No smidgen of romance in me
I cannot romance. Its really hard for me to understand the concept of "falling in love". I don't know how anyone can fall in love with guys other than Madhavan, Arvind Swamy or Ashton Kutcher. I have never known love other than binge-celebrity crushing. So that's why my profile is up for advertisement, because I can't make anything happen on my own.

3. Don't know to cook, or perform any household chores
I sleep, wake up, have food prepared for me, go to work, come back home, have the food prepared for me, sleep. On weekends, I roister around with friends. I have felt guilty about this a lot, because I'm not helping my mother. But somehow, as much as I love my mom's food, I've never been curious to imbibe that art from her. And cooking is kind of a pre-requisite for a marriage in India, especially arranged marriage.

4. I'm cute but I'm also fat
Since the advent of hot bollywood actresses, thin is in. And that trend is here to stay. So I'm screwed as long as guys fantasise hot thin women. I was much happier when Jyothika and Hansika were the dream women. So guys want their ladies thin, which is fine. I somehow don't feel motivated to lose weight though.

5. I'm funny
I always thought my sense of humor would at least come in handy for my groom search, but then I read an article about a survey which revealed that men do not prefer funny girls. Thanks

6. All are taken
These guys on matrimonial sites. Especially the guys I find good, turn out to have actually created the profile to satisfy their parents. Because on digging up their facebook profiles, one can very easily find out that they're taken. Yes, they have girlfriends which they probably didn't tell their parents about yet.

7. I don't like the guys that like me, the guys I like don't like me
When I feel , okay this guy looks decent to marry (12 lac + salary package, handsome), he usually doesn't return my love for him.

8. All I want is
My dad keeps asking me to not be so adamant and unreasonable towards the few guys that show interest in me (on matrimonial sites). But I'm  not being unreasonable. All I want is for my guy to look like this

or









How is that unreasonable

Wish me luck. Need loads of it !

The mothertongue blues

So I was at this programme where the orator was addressing us on  the importance of our mothertongue.  I did relate deeply to everything she said because although I love the English language with much fervor, I never have been one among those who balk at speaking their mothertongue in public.

My love for the English language was more of an accident. So until Standard 8, our marks in exams were measured as "Outstanding", "Excellent", "Very Good". "Good". So even if you got a lot of answers wrong , you'd end up with an Excellent or Very Good. And at the outset, those seem to be fine remarks. But from Class 9, the grading system changed and we were awarded marks on 100. I scored 64 on 100 and lost out on making it to the top three ranks that I was so accustomed to bagging.
I was startled and then I set out on this mission to improve my English before the next exams commenced. And somehow during that process, I ended up loving the language. Also I used to feel dwarfed by actors who used flamboyant English with all the big words, whereas I knew none. I felt , Omg Bollywood actors , who haven't got the brains to even complete school can speak like that, I should definitely improve mine. This was when I was 14, now I don't think actors are actors because they are dumb. As we grow up, we are taught one thing again and again: Not to Judge. So yeah, I'm not

But now, coming to think of it, I feel that English has become so quintessential in India, that one should mentally write off his chances of progressing when he doesn't know to communicate in English.

My mother-tongue is Tamil. Although I find many English movies and "Friends" hilarious, I can't laugh to English humor as hard  as I laugh to Tamil comedy. I can't feel as comfortable while speaking English as I feel while speaking Tamil.

It isn't wrong to speak English, in my view, or like the language over your own mother-tongue, but to cringe away from speaking your mother-tongue, that's deplorable.

Here are some instances of behaviour that I am totally against

Koffee with Karan

Okay, I love the show. He revolutionised the idea of "Rapid Fire" in India. He spiced up Bollywood with all the gossip and controversies with his intrusive questions. The show is fun. But I am sure, that only those who understand Hindi, or at least understand Hindi enough to be able to watch Bollywood movies, actually watch the show. Doesn't make sense for others to be interested in Bollywood personalities. So then why conduct the whole show in English. Actors come by and flaunt their big stylish English words, which is great, but this is the show which took digs at Kangana Ranaunt for not being able to speak English fluently. The sad thing is most of these celebrities speak cringeworthy Hindi and that is what they should be ashamed of.  If you take talk shows in France or Germany, Hollywood personalities are called and asked questions in their respective languages, a translator helps them understand the question and on them answering, they translate the answers back to the language for the audience to understand. Its only in India that English is considered a yardstick for the measurement of one's sophistication

Job interviews.

So I go into an interview confidently these days , even if I haven't prepared or don't have enough knowledge of the technical content which I am supposed to know. That's because English sells like crazy these days. It's not wrong for the interview panel to get impressed by great English, because that's definitely an added advantage. But I have seen people with brilliant minds get rejected on the grounds of not being able to speak good English. I am 200% sure these people are smarter and more deft at the job that we all are vying for. But the ones with decent knowledge and awesome English make it to the upper echelons. English, in our country, is definitely overrated

Schools 

I studied at a school where I was punished for talking in Tamil. It is in the rule book that we have to speak only English in school. They say it is for the better, it will help you get a grip of the language etc , and I do agree school is where we have to learn English, but to punish children for speaking their mothertongue during non-class hours, makes the child feel ashamed of speaking their mothertongue. Luckily for me, I was a rebel , and the reverse psychology worked, and I embraced Tamil tighter.

I agree English is the medium of communication in our country, the language which is supposed to be understood by all. And through this post,  I have been perfectly paradoxical since I have used as many big words as possible and flaunted my English knowledge whilst  penning down a polemic on the language. Its good to know English and I egg every one out there to get a good grip of the language, however unfair it is, its essential to know it. But be more abashed about not knowing your own mothertongue, because more than it being about patriotism etc, I'd say originality is important, guys.

Generation Gap

So after having lost the instant spark which lets you blog just as you want and floundering for over 6 months as to what I can blog about, I think I have found a decent topic that may be of interest to you guys.

I am now 24 years and I get to interact with 18-20 year olds in my workplace and otherwise. Considering that I'm in the CA field, where little ones put themselves through a 3 year stint called "articleship/internship", I get to see a whole lot of differences between how I was at their age and how they are.

1. Swear words

The constant use of the F word. It's not like I don't swear , but I reserve my diamonds for occasions that deserve them, unlike the kids these days that say "hey What the F is the name of this song ". When I was in school and in the first few years of college, had I used these words in such a fashion, I would have been called "Corrupted". In those times, my dad used to tell me the worst thing I can say to someone is "Shut up". Good that my dad doesn't have kids in this generation.

2. English music mania

This is a weird phenomenon that's rife among the young adults. They only listen to English music and funnily those of very few well known artistes. I get a lot of "Whaaatt ! You don't know Eminem.. Whaaat! You don't know Taylor Swift's love story, Whaaaattt! You haven't listened to DJ Guetta.... What not. Its okay to listen to these songs, but it really gets to you when they pretend to not have listened to Tamil songs. Its like oh Tamil songs, I don't like them.  No offence to people who actually don't like and listen to Tamil songs. My tirade is only against the pretenders.


3. Party culture

Okay .I entered a pub for the first time when I was 21 and sat in one corner with my co-non drinker friends and left after an hour. We entered because it was where the farewell party for our seniors was hosted. Since then I have seen a lot of drink parties. I saw one where many little kids 18-20 years of age went bonkers pushing vodka down their throats. That was really scary. In my days, the worst crime one can commit at the age of 18-20 was to watch an R Rated english movie


4. Game of Thrones
Okay this calls for a separate sub heading. The Game of Thrones mania has completely taken over the country and has left us, simpletons, bereft of an interesting conversation piece. When people go berserk over GoT, most of us old timers pretend to be listening, while thinking about how awesome Vijay was in Theri, or mulling over when Kabaali will release. The first ever English series I watched was Friends at the age of 18. Somehow I have always been more comfortable with Arasi, Thirumathi Selvam, Vani Rani etc but hey its good that this generation isn't watching that kind of crap either.


5. Favorite actor/actress/crush

I ask this generation's kids who your favorite actor or who your celebrity crush is and I get a reply along the lines of Kit Harrington (don't know who he is !), Harry Styles, Adam Levine etc. In my days, it used to be Thala or Thalapathy instantly, apart from Rajni who is an evergreen favorite, At least when we used to want to act all cool and quote Hollywood personalities as our crushes, we would say Will Smith, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt etc. Now if I throw these names around, you get a very funny look thrown your way. So I have settled for Ashton Kutcher, if anyone asks me who my Hollywood crush is. Need to survive in the cut throat environment

So yeah, Its pretty weird to see so many differences between me and these 20 year olds. I pity my future children. I'm going to be one uncool parent.

Eight parts of the CA course

So yes ! If you would remember my first ever post, I would have mentioned that I am pursuing the CA course. I actually would have at least mentioned "CA" in every one of my posts because for the last four years that has been the biggest, most burdensome part of my life. I guess you know where I am headed- YES ITS OVER ! I have cleared my Final Examinations

I would now want to take you through the whole experience from start to end so that those who are still undecided about their career paths can be egged on into taking up CA ;)

Part 1- CPT

So after finishing Standard 12 in school and getting really high marks (though that was the last time I got high marks) , you feel like CPT or any other course in the world is going to be a cakewalk. Because at that time you feel 12th Std CBSE Exams are the toughest to get through and you actually topped , so you must be the biggest genius ever ! You will feel like this:

But yes, CPT is quite easy , especially when you don't know about the hideousness that awaits you in Part 2

Part 2- IPCC

I did IPCC along with my BCom, and since I was still in the hangover of the success in my previous examinations, I thought I could ace this one too. And I didn't study much.  But then I stumbled hard when the results came as I found out that I hadn't cleared. I was taken aback! But But I topped in school....I cried and cried and whined and cribbed and lamented out loud and basically all words that mean "complained". I started relating to Severus Snape when he said

When the truth was that I actually didn't study too well. But then God was kind enough and also was fed up with my constant complaints every night to him, so I cleared when I sent my papers for re-valuation. So I did pass but only after I got a taste of what it would be like to not pass. One good thing that happened to me during this process, I fell hard out of my hangover! I was warned by the stars about how nefarious this course can be.

Part 3 - Articleship

The deadliest penultimate to your CA experience, The three year long articleship course where you have to work under a professional auditor and get trained before you appear for your CA exams. Its actually not as blithe as it sounds.

First is the hunt for a good firm to hire you. I got to do my internship first in a small firm and then a huge company. When the huge Company offer came my way, I felt elated! A big brand, much more stipend which you can save up (or spend), etc etc. You feel like

I was super excited to join a big Company and felt this is what I always wanted to do. I felt like my life's purpose was attained and that I was satiated with what I got. 

But little did I know that all this came with a price. There are so may people whose demands you have to cater to, so much pressure and so many crests and troughs during those three years. I didn't know my path would be fraught with such experiences, but to be honest there is a great learning process associated with all this. 

(In case my bosses are reading this, I really love my office)

Part 4-  Exam leave

This is a four month period of absolute dour. You will start losing the will to live seeing all the big huge books (8 subjects and around 50 books to study) . This whole long haul stint essentially is characterised by self doubt, fear, diffidence, irritation, anger, exasperation and so on whilst attempting to carry out the rigmarole of studying 50 books. You yell at your mom a lot! And the next second, when you realise how loving and supportive she has been to you, you feel guilty, cry and apologise.

Part 5- The Exam itself

This is the part you have been preparing for the whole time, right from part 1. You have to battle the urge to fall asleep, the trepidation that can cause jitters, the fear etc etc. You write the three hour long exam, some may go well and some may not. Where the exams go well, you have to get over the excitement really quick to start studying for the next one, and in case they go badly, you have to get over the grief to star studying for the next one (as I said, 8 subjects and one day's gap between each exam)

Part 6 - End of exam to date of result

During this phase, (lasts approximately 2 months), you can never be at peace. Its not like you can't sleep, but you just know that all you're thinking about is the result. This period is quintessentially the one time when you keep thinking of God. Your prayers are consistent, you go to every temple possible, you sing praises of the Almighty and chant shlokas.

Part 7- The Result

The D Day. The day when you come to know if all those prayers and hard work are going to bear fruit. The day when you can either say Phew ! or  yell CRAP!

For me luckily, I got to read the words "PASS". From then on, I became a Chartered Accountant. But one thing, the society has a bad habit of judging people who don't clear in their maiden attempt. One thing, the result has nothing to do with one's intelligence or smartness. Just because one clears the exams, they don't become Albert Einstein and definitely just because one doesn't clear, they don't become any less capable. It depends a lot on luck and also on your fate.

Part 8- The Celebration

Here you rejoice the accomplishment of getting through the exams. You feel like you're the hero and finally your time has arrived.

You might as well do the swag walk....

During this process you start comparing your marks with the others that wrote along with you. Not a very fun exercise apparently. You find out that people around you have scored a lot better and then there may be All India Rankers as well. The feeling stings more when the ones you thought you'd beat, beat you big time.

And when you realise you're not that big a deal also

But all said and done, you have finished the course and you feel blessed that you actually made it. It does feel  good to be done with this course finally. All your young adulthood is spent away in studies and apprehension, so when you finally get to the other side where you can wave goodbye to your books, it does feel good. And seeing the pride gleaming in your parents eyes will make you feel satiated.

So there goes, the eight parts of becoming a CA. How many of you want to join this course ?

Those stereotypes!

So I'm back after a hiatus which I didn't take voluntarily to mull over my thoughts or to discover who I really am and all,  I just had my exams.  One of the side effects of studying for five months continuously is that you run out of ideas  and topics worth writing about on the blog you created so enthusiastically. So after a lot of floundering and one draft post which I'm too hesitant to post, I'm presenting to you this post.

Now the media, be it films or advertisements. Sometimes what they showcase really irks the hell out of me. Because its the same concept, the one idea  of some filmmaker becoming the ultimate archetype and no one ever wants to dabble even in something different.  Here are some stereotypes that I really wish would wane away in the near future

Advertisements about fairness creams and silky hair 

Now if you see those ads, there is just one plot. There is a girl in college and her face seems good enough but there is this exaggerated dose of makeup to make her face look oilier than normal. Then there is this guy that doesn't want to ask her to some party or that guy makes fun of her face. Then some other girl who has benefitted from the fairness cream gives her advice and she comes back looking all unnaturally ethereal, not like a girl that goes to a regular college.

I mean just realistically, if some strange guy came and made fun of you, I'm sure you'd have better things to do than go and become fairer. I would personally have my fun ragging back at him or asking him what his real concern about my complexion was.Like there was this ad, for some hair smoothening shampoo, where the guy makes some snide comment about the girl's hair, but she does have a comeback which she reserves until she becomes all silky haired. Why not just use that pretty witty comeback on him then and there.!

Fat friends

This is a trend that I have observed in Tamil films more
These days Vidyu Raman, a good supporting actress in the South, is seen in almost every film as the heroine's friend/sidekick/comedian. She invariably plays the friend of every lead actress here, like Hansika in some not-worth mentioning movie or Samantha in Neethane en ponvasantham. Her character was actually more interesting and she had a much better personality than the lead actresses in both these films. But the hero has to fall for the slim one, which is okay. But why always cast a fat girl as the friend, because the hero shouldn't have any confusion as to whom to pick? Why can't they cast two slim women, whose chances with guys are stronger apparently, and have the hero fall for the girl with the better character. I am a feminist , but I'm backing men here. I'm pretty sure not all men go for women just based on looks, they also see character.

"Bubbly" girls

Okay see, I love Jab we met and Kareena played her part brilliantly. Similarly, I loved Bommarillu/Santhosh Subramanian and Genelia was great in it. But in real life, if someone behaves like that, all hyper and "living in the moment"and acting on an impulse, it really irritates and looks mighty fake. I actually prefer people who keep shut to those that start talking to you as though they have known you for years, within five minutes of meeting you. I totally get Shahid Kapoor when he yells at Kareena as she goes on babbling. These things look good on celluloid, in real life, I'd run away from such people. And I am telling you, Im not the only one feeling this way. So I think this stereotype of  guys falling for girls that behave stupidly again, should go away asap. I'd judge a guy that falls for women who very obviously is only trying to ape these onscreen characters.

Fat=Funny

Especially with women, there is a tendency to cast fat actresses as the comedians. Now that's not fair to thin people. They can be funny too. But name one funny thin comedian woman we know in India. It's not that thin women aren't funny, its just that they are never allowed to show that side of theirs because that will accomplish the sin of overshadowing their beauty and glamor quotient, to which only they are entitled. Thin women can also be witty and funny

Boys don't study well

Dhanush, in all his films, plays a college / school dropout that can't study for peanuts. Most guys in movies, follow the girls around, stalk them and lose out on their studies after which they proudly announce that they have failed. No one has ever deigned to show a girl as a weak student or someone that doesn't care about studies. She always passes or tops and falls for the guy that fails, funnily. The guys that surround me are big time bookworms and many are All India Toppers in CA final and all, thats a tough course to even crack man! So yeah, guys do study well and yes girls are definitely good, good enough to also have the sense not to fall for feckless guys that won't be able to earn. Love is not that blind also.

So these were some exasperatingly boring stereotypes that I would like to stop witnessing. Some stereotypes are really fun and harmless, like how every hero has the energy in him to beat up the much more physically capable villain, how when even Dhanush kicks someone they go flying in the air, thats all good. How Vijay and Ajith spit vitriol at each other through their punch dialogues. Let that never go away, let that always be there, that's the essence of Tamil Cinema :)

Life's little happiness

Now each one of us has a lot to thank God for. But we have a lot more to curse him and rant to him about. Because we focus on our troubles a lot more, which is fair and utterly normal. I am not going to go on a tirade about how people have everything in the world to complain about constantly , because I am very much a part of that population.

Now, to each his own. The fact is that just because others around us have it much worse than us, it does not make our troubles any less painful. In that case we should never shed tears, because someone else is going through a more dire problem all the time. But that doesn't take away our right to crib, fret and fume over the things which we bother about.

Now I am going to write about how we can retro-fit our psychology to console ourselves about some general things that have bothered us.

1. When some jerk says " You look really fat in this dress"- * This is for the sensitive women who pay too much heed to their body, I personally embrace my fatness (euphemism for not having the will to exercise or control my binge eating habits*

Well, That's alright- It means you look fat only in this dress. You generally look slim then . *Don't cross check with the person commenting, this is just a way to console yourself*. And also, who cares :D

2. When some jerk says "You look so bad in this pic"

Well, they mean you look so damn good in all other photos that its quite a shock when you at times don't photograph well *Again , Do Not Cross check" :D

3. When your mom says "All you do is study, eat and sleep. You never help me"

She just acknowledged that you're studying :D

4. When your manager yells at you "Why do you work this way ? Why can't you use your brains?"

Yayyy ! Your manager thinks you have brains :D

5.  When you're manager says "I am so disappointed with you"

That means, he expected a lot out of you, which in turn means you are really good at what you do. :D

6. When your friend says "You don't talk to me anymore. I mean nothing to you . You have new friends"

It means Hey You're a really big deal . You're important :D

7. When your manager says some other person works so much better than you.

It means, Well if that other person, with his dumbness can do a good job, why can't the brilliant you do it :D

So I guess on reading this post you will infer (that I have been yelled at by my manager several times) that you can make happiness out of little things which can push you over the edge to the bad place easily. Just see the positive of everything. Try to. But then cribbing and ranting is really fun, I must admit.