Groom Hunting and the associated pains

24, bordering 25. Single. Employed. WOMAN.
So obviously there's going to be all this pressure from family, first cousins, 23rd cousins, neighbours, passers by to get married .You have to relent sometime at which point you put up a profile on all the Matrimonial websites, Bharat matrimony, Shaadi.com, Tamil Matrimony, Brahmin Matrimony, Iyer Matrimony, Chennai Matrimony, KK Nagar Matrimony. You name it and I'll be there on those sites.

All this is  normally easy for a girl that is perfect for advertisement. But with me.....I have certain pre-conditions for my groom to be and also, I'm not perfect for advertisement in any sense. We've been on the lookout for my future husband since January 17, 2016, the day I became a Chartered Accountant.  So the groom hunting process , for me personally, is proving to be difficult by a few notches higher than for the others (at least others around me). Why? Because

1. Not in the mood
There's that adage , "if you really want something, the universe works on delivering it to you at your doorstep", something like that. The problem is I don't really really want it. I am not in the mood to get married at all, so probably the universe is busy helping the girls who really want to get married. Which is fair. To sum it up, universe isn't helping right now

2. No smidgen of romance in me
I cannot romance. Its really hard for me to understand the concept of "falling in love". I don't know how anyone can fall in love with guys other than Madhavan, Arvind Swamy or Ashton Kutcher. I have never known love other than binge-celebrity crushing. So that's why my profile is up for advertisement, because I can't make anything happen on my own.

3. Don't know to cook, or perform any household chores
I sleep, wake up, have food prepared for me, go to work, come back home, have the food prepared for me, sleep. On weekends, I roister around with friends. I have felt guilty about this a lot, because I'm not helping my mother. But somehow, as much as I love my mom's food, I've never been curious to imbibe that art from her. And cooking is kind of a pre-requisite for a marriage in India, especially arranged marriage.

4. I'm cute but I'm also fat
Since the advent of hot bollywood actresses, thin is in. And that trend is here to stay. So I'm screwed as long as guys fantasise hot thin women. I was much happier when Jyothika and Hansika were the dream women. So guys want their ladies thin, which is fine. I somehow don't feel motivated to lose weight though.

5. I'm funny
I always thought my sense of humor would at least come in handy for my groom search, but then I read an article about a survey which revealed that men do not prefer funny girls. Thanks

6. All are taken
These guys on matrimonial sites. Especially the guys I find good, turn out to have actually created the profile to satisfy their parents. Because on digging up their facebook profiles, one can very easily find out that they're taken. Yes, they have girlfriends which they probably didn't tell their parents about yet.

7. I don't like the guys that like me, the guys I like don't like me
When I feel , okay this guy looks decent to marry (12 lac + salary package, handsome), he usually doesn't return my love for him.

8. All I want is
My dad keeps asking me to not be so adamant and unreasonable towards the few guys that show interest in me (on matrimonial sites). But I'm  not being unreasonable. All I want is for my guy to look like this

or









How is that unreasonable

Wish me luck. Need loads of it !