Those stereotypes!

So I'm back after a hiatus which I didn't take voluntarily to mull over my thoughts or to discover who I really am and all,  I just had my exams.  One of the side effects of studying for five months continuously is that you run out of ideas  and topics worth writing about on the blog you created so enthusiastically. So after a lot of floundering and one draft post which I'm too hesitant to post, I'm presenting to you this post.

Now the media, be it films or advertisements. Sometimes what they showcase really irks the hell out of me. Because its the same concept, the one idea  of some filmmaker becoming the ultimate archetype and no one ever wants to dabble even in something different.  Here are some stereotypes that I really wish would wane away in the near future

Advertisements about fairness creams and silky hair 

Now if you see those ads, there is just one plot. There is a girl in college and her face seems good enough but there is this exaggerated dose of makeup to make her face look oilier than normal. Then there is this guy that doesn't want to ask her to some party or that guy makes fun of her face. Then some other girl who has benefitted from the fairness cream gives her advice and she comes back looking all unnaturally ethereal, not like a girl that goes to a regular college.

I mean just realistically, if some strange guy came and made fun of you, I'm sure you'd have better things to do than go and become fairer. I would personally have my fun ragging back at him or asking him what his real concern about my complexion was.Like there was this ad, for some hair smoothening shampoo, where the guy makes some snide comment about the girl's hair, but she does have a comeback which she reserves until she becomes all silky haired. Why not just use that pretty witty comeback on him then and there.!

Fat friends

This is a trend that I have observed in Tamil films more
These days Vidyu Raman, a good supporting actress in the South, is seen in almost every film as the heroine's friend/sidekick/comedian. She invariably plays the friend of every lead actress here, like Hansika in some not-worth mentioning movie or Samantha in Neethane en ponvasantham. Her character was actually more interesting and she had a much better personality than the lead actresses in both these films. But the hero has to fall for the slim one, which is okay. But why always cast a fat girl as the friend, because the hero shouldn't have any confusion as to whom to pick? Why can't they cast two slim women, whose chances with guys are stronger apparently, and have the hero fall for the girl with the better character. I am a feminist , but I'm backing men here. I'm pretty sure not all men go for women just based on looks, they also see character.

"Bubbly" girls

Okay see, I love Jab we met and Kareena played her part brilliantly. Similarly, I loved Bommarillu/Santhosh Subramanian and Genelia was great in it. But in real life, if someone behaves like that, all hyper and "living in the moment"and acting on an impulse, it really irritates and looks mighty fake. I actually prefer people who keep shut to those that start talking to you as though they have known you for years, within five minutes of meeting you. I totally get Shahid Kapoor when he yells at Kareena as she goes on babbling. These things look good on celluloid, in real life, I'd run away from such people. And I am telling you, Im not the only one feeling this way. So I think this stereotype of  guys falling for girls that behave stupidly again, should go away asap. I'd judge a guy that falls for women who very obviously is only trying to ape these onscreen characters.

Fat=Funny

Especially with women, there is a tendency to cast fat actresses as the comedians. Now that's not fair to thin people. They can be funny too. But name one funny thin comedian woman we know in India. It's not that thin women aren't funny, its just that they are never allowed to show that side of theirs because that will accomplish the sin of overshadowing their beauty and glamor quotient, to which only they are entitled. Thin women can also be witty and funny

Boys don't study well

Dhanush, in all his films, plays a college / school dropout that can't study for peanuts. Most guys in movies, follow the girls around, stalk them and lose out on their studies after which they proudly announce that they have failed. No one has ever deigned to show a girl as a weak student or someone that doesn't care about studies. She always passes or tops and falls for the guy that fails, funnily. The guys that surround me are big time bookworms and many are All India Toppers in CA final and all, thats a tough course to even crack man! So yeah, guys do study well and yes girls are definitely good, good enough to also have the sense not to fall for feckless guys that won't be able to earn. Love is not that blind also.

So these were some exasperatingly boring stereotypes that I would like to stop witnessing. Some stereotypes are really fun and harmless, like how every hero has the energy in him to beat up the much more physically capable villain, how when even Dhanush kicks someone they go flying in the air, thats all good. How Vijay and Ajith spit vitriol at each other through their punch dialogues. Let that never go away, let that always be there, that's the essence of Tamil Cinema :)

Life's little happiness

Now each one of us has a lot to thank God for. But we have a lot more to curse him and rant to him about. Because we focus on our troubles a lot more, which is fair and utterly normal. I am not going to go on a tirade about how people have everything in the world to complain about constantly , because I am very much a part of that population.

Now, to each his own. The fact is that just because others around us have it much worse than us, it does not make our troubles any less painful. In that case we should never shed tears, because someone else is going through a more dire problem all the time. But that doesn't take away our right to crib, fret and fume over the things which we bother about.

Now I am going to write about how we can retro-fit our psychology to console ourselves about some general things that have bothered us.

1. When some jerk says " You look really fat in this dress"- * This is for the sensitive women who pay too much heed to their body, I personally embrace my fatness (euphemism for not having the will to exercise or control my binge eating habits*

Well, That's alright- It means you look fat only in this dress. You generally look slim then . *Don't cross check with the person commenting, this is just a way to console yourself*. And also, who cares :D

2. When some jerk says "You look so bad in this pic"

Well, they mean you look so damn good in all other photos that its quite a shock when you at times don't photograph well *Again , Do Not Cross check" :D

3. When your mom says "All you do is study, eat and sleep. You never help me"

She just acknowledged that you're studying :D

4. When your manager yells at you "Why do you work this way ? Why can't you use your brains?"

Yayyy ! Your manager thinks you have brains :D

5.  When you're manager says "I am so disappointed with you"

That means, he expected a lot out of you, which in turn means you are really good at what you do. :D

6. When your friend says "You don't talk to me anymore. I mean nothing to you . You have new friends"

It means Hey You're a really big deal . You're important :D

7. When your manager says some other person works so much better than you.

It means, Well if that other person, with his dumbness can do a good job, why can't the brilliant you do it :D

So I guess on reading this post you will infer (that I have been yelled at by my manager several times) that you can make happiness out of little things which can push you over the edge to the bad place easily. Just see the positive of everything. Try to. But then cribbing and ranting is really fun, I must admit.

The Paradigm of overall greatness- Vaidya Pallasena (From Taylor Swift's point of view)

Taylor Swift has carved a niche for herself as a singer and an overall performer. She has a legion of fans that flock to watch her perform at concerts and that queue up to buy her albums as soon as they hit the stands. But one aspect of each of her songs, which has been speculated on and made a big deal of, is that she takes digs at and complains about her ex boyfriends pretty much overtly through her songs.

Talyor has faced a lot of flak for using her songs as a medium to pinpoint where her boyfriends failed to live up to her expectations and disappointed her. But the reason she has set such high expectations with regard to her dating standards, which most of the men that she comes across unfortunately are not able to live upto, is that she met this person a long time back. This person, Vaidya Pallasena

Smitten by how good looking he is, she got instantly attracted to him after which her crush developed into a form of indelible eternal love, after she got to delve into the depths of his stunning soul. Ever since, she has not been able to get over him.

If you observe the lyrics of all her big hit songs, you will notice that she has dropped hints about Vaidya many times.

Blank Space

Although Taylor parodied her widely famous image of being a stalker psycho girlfriend, she did drop hints of how she feels about Vaidya

Taylor's Reaction on seeing Vaidya for the first time is capture in this line

"Oh My God, Look at That face "

That's how floored she was when she saw Vaidya for the first time.

You Belong with me 

Although this song is about how she is jealous of another girl being in her neighbour's life, certain phrases she has used very much refer to Vaidya. The song video is just he director's brain child, but Taylor's true emotions flow at their best when she envisages Vaidya in the song

That is how smitten Taylor was, thinking Vaidya belonged with her. She used to dance around during bed time.


But she soon realised that Vaidya was not someone that could belong with anyone. He was a free-spirited saint-like human, with deep dark secrets which on revelation would unveil another side to him. Taylor, upon such realisation, went through a brief phase of depression, and she somewhere knew that Vaidya wouldn;t be with her for too long

I knew you were trouble 

Swift had realised that Vaidya wasn't someone who could be contained within her shackles of love and that he had to be left alone. On realising that he was long gone , she cribbed and cried for a while. Then Depression ensued

"Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground"

Back to December 

This song was apparently written by Taylor Swift for breaking Taylor Lautner's (her then boyfriend's) heart . She had no concrete reason to break up with him and he loved her very much, but after Vaidya came and left like the wind, she just didn't find anyone good enough.

Although she apologises for hurting another man, the reason that relationship didn't work out was Vaidya.


After realising that no man would be good enough for her after the impression Vaidya left in her heart, she decided to cheer up, cherish her moments spent with Vaidya, and move on ,

Shake it off

Now Taylor is in a good place in her life, and has shaken off all the sadness and depression.

Taylor will always cherish Vaidya's memories with her. She knows she can never find someone as amazing as him, but he can't be attained. He's destined for other purposes. She continues to look for similar love, knowing she can't find it anywhere else. Vaidya too, knows Taylor's true love for him will never vane away, since he's aware of the charm he can throw around.

All these experiences Taylor had to go through after Vaidya came into her life, made her a stronger person and now she's come around to be fun loving and effusive unlike the time before he walked in.
Its a shame that they aren't together, but Vaidya-Taylor, Vailor, is by far the best couple we can see. Characterised by true love, and a couple that looks so amazing together.

 VAILOR

That Said, Happy Birthday Vaidya Ji ! Greatness personified ! Next year, its Emma Watson, who surprisingly also hasn't been able to find true love after she met you .

The Evolution of Problems

Each time you pass a certain phase, you go through a huge chunk of problems (This is Not a sentimental post..Don't go. No wait ) Right from your childhood , your adolescence, your young adulthood, your adulthood. Yea I can only talk about what happens until so far. I am yet to go through the remaining stages which are apparently even more gruelling as per what the elders around me say. As you transition from one phase to another, and as a corollary of which you face newer problems, you feel what you faced earlier was trivial and something you over-reacted to. 

I am going to share, to the best of my memory and the extent to which I can borrow heavily from cliches, what my biggest problems were at different stages of my 23 years of life. 

Kindergarden to Primary school

I grew up in Muscat, ( for convenience, you can think of it as Dubai). So there were very few Indians that I could interact/play with. (because the Muscat nationals wouldn't play with us). I did have a nice childhood though and I went through all the moments a kid in India would go through. My biggest problem at that time was being a good girl to my father. I mean, me and my dad are buddies now and have always been, but I  saw him as this authoritative presence whose bad books I should never get into when I was a kid. When I was in primary school, "bad words" started becoming a thing, all kids my age would pick up on these words and flaunt them around. I wanted to use them around too, and if I did so around my dad, I knew it was the end for me. So I turned to my grandpa, who had visited Muscat then, and asked him the meaning of one of those words, He didn't answer and mysteriously, the next morning, my dad gave me a piece of his mind. (But I trusted you , thaatha (grandpa in Tamil). Since then, I always saw my dad as He who must not be angered. My other problem was when my dad didn't buy me the same set of 36 Faber Castle color pencils which were a huge status symbol for kids back then, after I lost them in school. He always knew I'm not an artist , and he is always right. 

Middle School 

I am more of a nerd than not. I happened to get the first rank in the 5th grade without really aiming at it. So, after being announced as the first in class, I thought I'm invincible. Then came along this girl, in 6th grade, she was just better than me, so much better than me. And I never could stand first for the rest of my middle school life again. And My maths teacher, who thought I was the best, replaced me as his favourite student with that girl. This was a huge blow to me, a twinge that I felt everytime he would praise her. Also, in middle school, I was ostracised for being the big nerd, That's harsh actually. I wasn't even the first in class, but I was labelled nerd. And I was fat, still am, but then I was loserly and I would sob when people called me fatty and all. (Omg I was a loser kid)

High school

Now it was all about my 10th board exams. Just that. I had my blinkers on and I was charging towards a 90%+ aggregate. I needed to boost my self esteem, and moreover my school offered a cash price of 100 rials, (translates to Rs 10,000).  This was in Muscat. In Chennai, the competition levels were insane, I studied in the most studious school of Chennai. And the students here, were a lot geekier than me. So my nerd tag fell off and waned away quite naturally since I was surrounded by many more. I kind of missed it though. My next big problem was (Surprise) 12th boards. After sifting through all these stages of problems, and emerging successful, I entered into my 18th year of official adulthood. And I was so excited, I thought I should study much less and enjoy more, I was all geared up , somewhat like this

CA. -The name is enough

I had no idea life had such a humongous problem for me in store. All the while I was beguiled by the stature my dad held among his colleagues. He was a CA. He was awesome. I aspired to become one, when I was in 8th standard, not knowing what it even meant, I just knew I didn't have to take up science for 11th and 12th. I was in the mood for some real time reprieve after my 12th board exams. But CPT came prancing along. I started developing a little suspicion about the awesomeness of this course because we were made to write CPT within 1 month of completing our Board exams. Now who can be that cruel. IPCC was a big hurdle to cross...okay there are too many CA problems, so lets just club all the parts of becoming a CA into one bucket and move on (not to another blog, please stay) Oh btw, CA was a problem which started in 2010 and is still continuing.

College

College was the part of my life that I would always cherish. My problems at that time, apart from simultaneously pursuing CA included  hissy fits with my friends,  cold wars with other girls in class , Harry Potter vs Twilight arguments, (I'm a fan of the former but a fan of the actor of the latter). Since I was a fan of Robert Pattinson, I was engraged when Kristen Stewart cheated on him, so that was a huge problem too. *While typing this out, I just realised that my college problems are a lot more childish than my school and kindergarden problems*. (I'm so doomed)


Real Problems

Once you pass through all these phases, and step into the real world, it dawns on you that all along life has been pampering you and the problems which seemed so arduous were actually not problems at all. I begun working in the year 2013 as part of my CA intern-ship course and I realised that life has a lot more opportunities going ahead, to trip you over and screw you up.I'm very content with my job (just in case my bosses read this ;) but you face real time troubles here, once you start being perceived as an adult.  But with every problem that you overcome, you are moulded into a stronger person by at least 0.01%. So all I say is, with regard to whatever you're going through now, "This too shall pass" and you will laugh about your current scenario some day later when you;re facing a bigger problem. (I am sure I did not help in making you feel better with that sentence )

So yes, Live love and laugh now, because life is anyways going to catch hold of you tighter. 

WhatsAppening !

I have successfully completed one year of relationship with Whatsapp. I always loved having a basic model Nokia c5 phone. I practically avoided every situation of having to buy a touch phone inspite of my C5 growing obsolete day by day. And then came the day when I gave up my inhibitions about touch phones and let my dad buy me a Samsung Duos (I didn't offer to pay for it :)). I took my own time to develop interest in exploring the phone, but I was quick enough to install whatsapp into it. I had to know what the whole craze about that App was and a huge part of me knows that I actually wanted a smartphone just to be able to use Whatsapp .

So yes, Its been a year with Whatsapp and I must say its been fun ! And a great learning experience. Why a learning experience, well. thats what this post is going to be about , that is if you haven't already clicked on the "Next Blog"button

WhatsApp teaches you a lot about what people are thinking without even having the chance to read their body language or facial expressions. Here are some of the translations of what people are actually thinking while typing out the following

1. Sup/What's up/Wuzaa/
- I really don't care what you're upto, but I'm bored so please talk about something !

2. When you've typed out an incident that happened to you, which you intend to be funny,watch out for these responses

lol/rofl
If the person just types out lol/rofl (notice the small caps), it means they haven't even read your post. They're busy and don't want to talk to you and they dread that you will continue the conversation. Its a hint. Stop Right there (I have been on both ends )

LOL/ROFL
If they type out LOL , it means they read your post. They want to be nice to you, they say LOL/ROFL, but they aren't laughing, its not funny to them. So again, Stop

Hahahahahaha then what happenend?
That means they are genuinely nice people, and they don't mind listening to you more. They're the best people in the world. Hold on to them.

3. When you're having a heated argument/fight

Someone who has something potentially rude to say will always dilute it with a :P smiley or a lol
- Yeah Right :P. I don't think you make sense at all lolol
They're like, I still like you, I don't want to hurt you, but I couldn't stand what you did .

- You're starting to sound like a big jerk :P. lol (Insert WhatsApp laughing tears smiley)

- You notice that you haven't been talking to me much lol

Those were some examples.

4. Conversation has gone on for a long time, It has to end somewhere. Who will put an end to it is the big question. And whoever is the one to cut the thread  is the rude one. So these are the ways in which people try to put an end to conversations

- Hahah okay dude, lunch/dinner brb
And then they're never coming back . Take the hint there.

- Just two laughing smileys or lols . They also mean, please stop.

So those were some lessons I have learnt from WhatsApp. That said, WhatsApp has been great for me. It makes chatting fun.And I really have people whom I love to talk to and Im sure they love talking to me too (lets pretend Im too cool and  that all these examples have never been used on me)

Being in Denial,
Aishwarya Sivakumar

Being Funny

I can say with some pride that I am considered funny unanimously and those who don't think so definitely are not in my good books. Now women are generally considered the ones who laugh and not the ones who make others laugh. While I do think many men that I have come across (family and friends) are quite funny, I believe a woman can have a very distinct and sharp sense of humour. Tina Fey, J.K Rowling (Harry Potter had a good dose of light-hearted humour), Sofia Vergara, Ellen DeGeneres, Jennifer Lawrence. (Okay Too much Peter), Kovai Sarala, Manoramma and many more ( lazy to recollect more names)

Here are some tips to being considered a funny one

1. Always laugh at others' jokes
Only when you laugh at others'jokes will they laugh back at yours. Sometimes theirs may be painfully unfunny, but I have been in that place where I have cracked a joke and it has fallen completely flat. Trust me, that hurts. Don't put anyone through that, Karma will bite you really hard


2. Crack jokes about yourself
This gives you the upper hand. You are making fun of yourself! So that means you are denying someone else that chance. This way, you will go easy on yourself during the self mocking. Plus when you make fun of others, they can't mind because you make fun of yourself too. All evened out .


3. Watch a lot of Aadithya channel
Being a tamilian, I'd advise all those who want the "funny"tag to watch Aadithya or other comedy channels on TV. You get to pick up on the comic timing of Santhanam, Vivek and Vadivel. And throwing around their dialogues always brings out laughs. Plus its fun ! Also keep up with the Fb memes, like the Lingusamy ones.

For the non tamils, Watch Modern Family (Phil Dunphy), Friends (Chandler) etc. And for the Hindi ones, I'm not the right person to suggest.

4. Exaggeration
Take a normal story, add spice and masala to it, dramatise it, add comic references, narrate your mind voice and voila. You have the perfect funny story to tell people.

P.S Don't exaggerate to an extent where people think you're just hamming it up to get some laughs. That would have you crossing the line from trying to be funny into being completely desperate.

5. Try to do impressions of people
It's fun ! And if it works then Jackpot ! You're funny !

6. Be natural
Try your hand at these tactics, if you're not successful, just drop it and be who you are. Or don't even try . Just ignore this post

Hey Everyone !

Okay so as part of this whole customary introduction thing. I'm Aishwarya, someone who is currently pursuing the CA course and therefore someone who needs a respite from her everyday life which is why she took to blogging. ;)

So what really got me started on this !

1. Boredom
When you're pursuing CA, (for those pursuing other courses, their respective courses), you inevitably feel bored at some point .(EVEN if doing that course is your "passion" and all that) I started reading books but for some reason I never got to finishing any of them, then I took to listening to a lot of music which obviously got me bored again. So something different. Blogging (Till I get bored of that too, which I am sure I will.)

2. Inspiration
When I read Cocunut Chutney (Lavanya Mohan) or a book like Bossypants (Tina Fey), I get quite enthralled by how these women pen down their daily thoughts and make them funny and interesting to read. So I just thought , maybe I can give it a try. (As a corollary, you're supposed to infer that I'm going to try and be funny)
(Both Coconut Chutney and Bossypants were suggested to me by two of my friends. I didn't go blog/book surfing. They would never spare me if I didn't mention this, keeping it real)

3. Flair for writing
I have always had a flair for writing. That's all. (The sub heading was unnecessary, I know)

Why K.K Nagar Kedi
My colleagues at office came up with that name for me long back. (I'm not even sure they remember it.) I'm from K.K Nagar and I'm not a cool Kedi and all, but the name sounds cool so.... Also Tanglish (Tamil + English ) is cool, so....


Previous attempts at blogging

I have started blogs around thrice in the past. The first time, it was about movies where I would post reviews . Talk about thinking outside the box !It dawned on me that I don't even watch that many movies and blogging about movies requires constant updation of what is running in the theatres and in all mainstream languages (Tamil,Hindi and English). And I can't watch Action Jackson and all just to keep my blog running. Nor can I watch some highly intellectual movie like Interstellar and comment on how awesome it was whilst not having understood it myself ( Confession: Till date, I haven't understood what Inception was all about. But yeah, nevertheless, I'm also a  Nolan fan.). So Then I started this serious blog called "opinions - mine do matter". Yes. I really named my blog that. Surprisingly, I had not really had that many opinions which were worth sharing, especially considering my blog tagline insisted that Mine do matter. They didn't. Thank Goodness, I had some sense in me and didn't publicise that blog address on Facebook. And considering the blog address went by opinionsmdm.blogspot.in, (mdm short for "Mine do Matter") I don't think people would have clicked on the link at all. Then the third time, I did start a blog called "Yea Its me". But I realised I did something like that only when I opened my blogger yesterday. So pretty much no memories of that one.

So yes. This time, I just want to write about random everyday thoughts. Just the thoughts of an average tamil woman in her early 20s, living in K.K Nagar Chennai. I hope to not bore you and myself.

I thank my two friends (not sure if they want their names here) who have always encouraged me to write and then my parents because they're awesome.